Hello and welcome back! This revelation is aimed at parents and those who care for children of various ages. That being said, even if you don’t fit the bill, I’m sure there’s something for you here as well:
Children are a blessing from God, believe it or not. And they look at you in a way that, often times, you probably don’t look at yourself. Before they go to Google, they’ll go to you. Before they ask their friends, they’ll ask you. You are the epicenter of information, guidance and wisdom…at least for a little while.
I know that as kids grow they’ll begin looking and learning outside the home, but the Word says in Proverbs 22: “Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. As someone who holds the heart of a child in your hands, you have immense power and responsibility, but beware! The way you steward the heart of a child determines your relationship with them, and even their relationship with God.
When a kid comes to you for an issue, your response hold tremendous weight. Often times they’ll be nervous or outright scared to approach you because they’re uncertain of how you’ll respond. Remember those times you blew up over something? The times when you’re not comforting and kind where your emotions got the best of you and you lashed out? Those moments stick out clearly in a child’s mind and can conflict with their perception of you. All that to say, when they come to you, they may not if they’re getting the kind and patient parent or the stressed and frustrated parent. Take a moment to gather yourself for whatever it is they come to you with, because it may have taken a lot to come to you in the first place.
A kid will almost always believe they’ll get in trouble for expressing something to you. Don’t let how you were raised dictate how you respond. If you were brushed off as a child, don’t do the same thing with your child. What you do when you say things like “that’s crazy” or “go on somewhere with that foolishness” is invalidating their feelings as well as discouraging them from coming to you in the future. Even if its something “small” in your eyes, it can be ginormous in theirs, and the way you respond can hinder and prevent them from coming to you with the more serious matters in their lives.
Sometimes when they call you, its not for a solution, sometimes they just need an ear to listen to them, a shoulder to cry on, a presence. I know your first instinct may be to try and solve the problem, but instead I encourage you to discern whether this is a time to respond or a time to simply listen. Often times they may not be looking for a response, and the questions they ask amidst tears are rhetorical; all they need is to be held and comforted. The solution you come up with (hopefully after praying) can come later. Right then and there, they need that nurturing side of you.
Every child is different, as I’m sure you’ve learned by now. So disciplining them will be unique to the child as well. Some take well to a stern push or command, others could use a bit more positive reinforcement. However your child responds, make note of it and help them grow.
This is just some food for thought, but I pray it blessed you! And until next time
–JB
Rnt with JB 